Somewhere between pure happiness and the fear of failure
Booking all these flights and planning my trip feels like a huge release. A dream comes true and the best part is that I am the creator 🙂 I choose the destinations, the accommodations, the way of traveling and the duration of each adventure.
Some people might thing that this is a tough decision to choose everything and decide where to go and what to quit. But honestly, it isn’t. For me it feels like being in a candy shop with over 100 candies, but you know exactly what you want. You want this one lollipop which colors your tongue green and the rest doesn’t matter. You don’t care about the chewing gums or the chocolate bars. You only want the lollipop and the best thing is: this one lollipop is in the shelter you reach all by yourself 🙂
This was mostly the feeling when I left the travel agency. But the other side of this big adventure is money and the fact that I am traveling by my own. So hello dark side that you have the force of rushing my thoughts and driving me crazy sometimes…
I don’t know how many nights I’ve lain awake in my bed thinking about the money and all my savings that will be gone after my trip. And while I was thinking about all that my brain starts another conversation (yes please go ahead I am awake anyway!) Leading question: Are you out of your mind? Traveling alone to places where you’ve never been before? You have the badest orientation ever! You are not able to read any map and even when Google Maps tells you where to go, you get lost. (Last year I went for a run and needed two hours to find my way back, because I didn’t recognize that I had run the same track three times).
So me, a camper and a map from New Zealand – this will be a disaster!
I guess that all of you have those nights. A silent night with loud thoughts. In one of those nights I decided one thing: less worries and more trust in myself.
Leaving your comfort zone is always a good thing. It is time for me to step out and go.
Everything you’ve ever wanted, is one step outside your comfort zone.
I am not sure what will happen during my trip, but I know for sure that everything and everyone, which or whom will cross my way, is exactly what should happen.
How do I feel right now? Excited and frightened at the same time. And to get along with this I gave a promise to myself: everything happens for a reason and no matter how challenging this will be, I can do this, because the biggest step is already taken – quitting with everything and start allover brand new.